I am not sure if this will end up included but it may be helpful.
Like with many other hobby communities, both online and offline, there will be drama because inevitably humans clash over opinions and interpretations. Lolita fashion is well known for this, which is why some outside of the community think lolitas are a bunch of bitches. Some lolitas are just salty people, and some don't become salty until one tries to defend their bad coord/false information/general bad attitude about concrit in spaces where concrit is allowed or expected. Lolitas are also extremely bitchy the moment someone tries to bring up their f*tish or hobbies that are closely associated with it (regardless of if the person bringing it up uses it a totally innocent way- the lolita community as a whole doesn't want to hear it or care).
Inevitably, everyone who puts their coords out there gets posted. You can try to avoid this by only posting coords on private groups or blogs, but there is still a chance someone could find it and repost it. If you avoid sites where coords are reposted, you will never know you got posted, so that is one option. If you are aware your friends go on those sites, it may be good to let them know that you don't want to know, and if they are good friends, they will respect that.
But what if you go on the sites yourself, either as a poster or a lurker, and find your picture there one day? First, do not respond or try to defend yourself. The person who posted you is not trying to help you, so defending yourself to them is just going to give them more fodder to mock you with. Related to this, don't go on your public social media accounts or make posts to large lolita social media groups whining about how you got posted. This will just keep the interest of those posting you, and they will not feel shamed about it.
Second, if there was any commentary about the picture, is there any merit to the comment? If someone is complaining about your face, or anything that you can't easily change, then ignore them. But if someone is saying your shoes don't work in lolita, or you need to style your hair different, or use a different petticoat, then those may be things you can go to someone else to ask advice for, be it a lolita friend or one of the help groups online. I recommend getting a second opinion on this (particularly if you are new) because the people posting on these sites are anonymous, which means you don't know if they have been a lolita for 10 years, 1 year, never wore it themselves but has totally been reading about it for 15 years, or is just a troll trying to piss people off.
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